I Whacked a Kid Today

I'm not proud of it. Didn't mean to do it. Wasn't even particularly angry. I just... did it.

Got 5 minutes to run to the bathroom between my 5th and 6th class (Itobunka). For some mysterious reasons, in the whole kindergarten, there is only one bathroom, with lots of baby toilets, and only one adult stall. I went in to use the adult toilet.

A kid came in shortly after me. I heard him pee, a few seconds later, he started pounding and hammering on the door of my stall while giggling. Then all went quiet.

When I came out of the stall, the kid jumped and screamed at me. I had guessed that he would do that, the rowdy assault on the door and sudden silence told it all. But I was still startled... and reacted with slapping him with a full-force, body-winded-up-and-swing kind of blow. I guess I am *only* a girl, but still, years of karate, self-defense classes, and paddling a kayak makes that kind of assault kind of punishing. The kid was brave, he rubbed and braced his arm at where I striked him, and tried to keep smiling. He went on and on to excuse that he thought I was another teacher. I calmed down, explained to him that he shouldn't do that to any teacher, washed my hands, and went back to teach the next lesson.

I still can't believe I did it. As a kid, I swore again and again, that I would never hit children when I grow up. And kids have pulled much worse pranks on me, and I would never intentionally punish them with violence. But somehow, without thinking, I just did it.

I'm a pathetic excuse for human being...