Last Friday, I had classes in the Szm-Kindergarten as usual.

Most of the kids were leaving the building when I got there. Most of the kids were well-mannered, they said "hello" and "see you" while waving to me. Kids in Japan learn to bow and say thank you and other polite things to each other everyday in school, as a routine. So they are all supposed to be little gentlemen and ladies, right?

Wrong. My days in Japan are numbered; I have less than two months left in Utsunomiya and I kept hoping to my lucky star that I can get away from this hole before I have a car accident (as most teachers and staff in my school already had multiple accidents), or worse yet, ANOTHER kancho.

And my lucky star wouldn't even grant me that wish.

When I was taking off my shoes and greeting the children at the kindergarten entrance, another stupid boy gave me the good old kancho.

When I grabbed his wrist and yanked him around to face me, he was still smiling. It took him a moment to realize I wasn't smiling.

I willed myself to calm down, then I asked him,

"saki doko sawatta?" (where did you just touched me?)

the boy wasn't smiling anymore. But then he wasn't exactly crying either. Looking into my eyes, he answered,

"oshiri" (your ass)

"sensei ni sonna koto shitewa ikenaiyone?" (you know you shouldn't do that to your teacher right?)

the boy nodded.

I stared at him for some times. Maybe 10 seconds or so. Then I said to him,

"ja, nani iimasuka" (well, are you going to say something?)

"gomennasai" the boy whispered.

He didn't look particularly upset or scared; but then I wasn't exactly shaking with anger, like I was the first time a boy did that to me.

So what have I learnt?

1) if you want to be noticed, jabbing your finger against someone's asshole usually does the trick.
2) I still haven't developed that "sixth sense" that many gaijin-teachers claim to have. (many have advised me to always keep my back to the wall. But then again, I was trying to take off my shoes.... so, lesson learnt here: no exceptions. Not even when you are taking off your shoes, you should watch your back, always.)
3) I am getting better at disciplining kids, and more importantly, I am a lot more forgiving than what I used to be.

Then I noticed I wasn't even upset at all. Funny how a year ago, I got so very upset at these little pranks that kids like to pull. It's not like I was an angel when I was little, so I really should have been a lot more understanding, and forgiving.

The classes went well that afternoon. Takumi's mom came to watch our lesson, she wrote a note of appreciation, she said many nice things, but somehow, the only sentence that felt really personal and touching was "Lia-sensei, arigatou" -- it reminds me of working at PAVC, when clients sometimes write notes of thank you's even after their pets died.

One of the things I used to hate most about Japan is how fake people are. If they don't like you, if they have a problem with you, they won't tell you, they will just talk behind your back. If they did nothing wrong, but their superior decides to be difficult, they will always bow and apologize anyway.

But I am starting to appreciate how important to have these social rituals now. Did I not teach children that they should apologize when they've done something wrong? How is that any different from saying thank you when you have been helped? I still remember clearly how I had offended a stranger in Canada when I didn't thank him after he went out of his way to help me. I thought he was being difficult then; but now, thinking back, I can feel my cheeks burn with shame. I was being a very tyical, rude, ungrateful Hongkie.

I wouldn't want to come back to Utsunomiya, and I am feeling pretty contemptuous about my boss, but still, I like to think that this one-year experience did me some good. Hopefully, I am leaving Japan a better person, a little more patient, a bit more mature, and a lot more polite.

-Lia